Saturday, 3 December 2016

Dear November,

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'Down, but not out.'


Dear November,

You've been a tough month, not for any particular reason, but you've just been hard to wade through. Even though you've flown, it felt like an arduous slog to get to the end. 

First it was the clocks going back, and all the endless darkness that comes with it. Then it was the cold, and contending with constantly being chilled to the bones. I normally find you a cosy and calm month, but not this year. This year you were a bit colder, in more ways than one.

November, you're the month where I took too much on. The one where I tried to distract myself by spinning too many plates, but failed and smashed them all over the floor instead. November, don't take offence to this, but I felt quite rubbish. I was determined not to let the cold and darkness make my mood plummet, but doing so really drained my energy. 

You were the month where I endlessly compared myself to others who are doing better than me. The month where I couldn't forget my shortcomings. Where I couldn't drop my insecurities. Where I became overly aware of my foibles. But do you know what? You're over now. And I got through it. I feel better, I'm getting there. You couldn't keep me down for long. Down, but not out. That's the sentence that best describes how I felt, in a nutshell.

November, it's not your fault really, is it? I'm not blaming you for my struggles, but you're a weird time of the year; as the transitional period between Halloween and Christmas. You're cold, you're dark, you're the month that represents the slow and painful death of the year, without any events to distract us from this. At least October's got Halloween and December has Christmas. Yeah, I know you've got Bonfire Night, but even that's all dark and cold. It's not you, November, it's me.


Yours,
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